I brought the office to Heart Coffee Roasters today, and I have the privilege of watching them roast it while drinking a latte with two hearts in it—the coffee roasting process is fascinating to me because it is steeped with science, and I happen to love science. There are so many variables which could go wrong from the time of harvest to the time of pulling your shot of espresso, but through hours upon hours of practice and hypothesis after hypothesis, the product which I am drinking today taste absolutely fantastic. I compare this to my marriage…
Sara and I are celebrating our 7th Anniversary today! Marriage is not an easy task in the slightest. Over the past seven years we have had our share of highs and lows, but through it all we have decided to remain faithful to one another because we know how fabulous it can be and we know that God joined us together. There is no one method to practicing a good marriage, it is just like coffee in that sense. Some people prefer a coffee that is so thick and dark that it will put hair on your chest, and others prefer coffee so lightly roasted that it closely resembles a tea. Even so, in this process there are wonderful failures—failures so miserable you can laugh later on. For instance, have you ever had a friend whom tried to roast coffee in his kitchen and filled the entire house with a putrid stench? Some people do this with their marriage—they put little to no thought into some of their actions, hoping for the best but ending up with a disaster. That does not mean it is the end though.
Sara and I are aware of what it means to practice. She is a wonderful pianist, cyclist, personal trainer, and baker. She is good at these things because she has put in hours upon hours of practice towards each of these disciplines. I have not yet mentioned that she always knows how to cherish a person. She knows how to listen. She knows how to hold onto a friend and never let go. She is a fighter, and she will not quit—even when it means she is dying on a bicycle and has another lap to go, she will finish the race. Has Sara ever messed up? Of course she has, but she knows how to admit she was wrong and win back a friend—a feat which can be harder to do than destroying a city!
When we first got married, I would seek out counsel from more mature couples and ask them questions about how to have a successful marriage. My pastor, Jerry Malone, recommended I do three things every day: 1. Kiss my wife every day, 2. Read the Bible with my wife every day, and 3. Pray with my wife every day. I am realizing that I fail to do these things with my wife on a consistent basis, but I know that when I do these things, it is absolutely wonderful. I pray that I begin following through on the advice which I received from one of the men whom I trust more than any other. These three things are not universalized methods; these are simply principles which will help the process. For instance, when roasting coffee, you need a source of heat, a process for keeping the heat even, and a process to properly cool the beans….aside from that you can do whatever you want! This is like the three principles which Pastor Jerry gave me. These things ought not to be a source of bondage; rather, they ought to be the things which set our marriage free in our love for one another.